What do you hate about yourself?

Note: I’m writing the 30 Days of Truth topics, not necessarily in the next 30 days, but in at some point, eventually, I will get all 30 days done. Write with me! On your blog if you have one, in the comments here if you don’t or if you don’t want to put it on your blog.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

This is easy. I hate my eating habits.

The crazy thing about that is logically I know how easy that is to change. And I try to change them, I really do. But I give in way too easily to temptation. I love cheese. I love sweets – brownies, cupcakes, ice cream. And when they are offered to me I don’t stop to think about whether I’ve eaten enough healthy foods to afford to splurge – I just splurge.

 And when I do try to eat healthy, I get bogged down in the forest looking for the trees. I have a basic understanding of what is healthy and what is not, but I want to make sure I’m getting the proper balances of every single nutrient. And it gets overwhelming. And while I’m sitting at the computer spending hours on meal planning, I’m getting hungrier and hungrier. Until I finally reach for whatever is most convenient and sounds the yummiest.

Consequently, one thing I hate about myself physically is my not-flat stomach and my too-big thighs. Hmm, I wonder why?

When I’m working out a lot and attempting to watch what I eat, I don’t mind them so much. But too much pizza or nachos or French Toast and I can tell where it goes – straight to my gut.

At some points I try to rationalize it – I’m not obese, and I’m not even fat, and sure everyone has something they don’t like about themselves …

But the truth is, as soon as I turned 30 I started thinking more about things like mortality. And I don’t want to have anything unhealthy about me. I know I’m going to die at some point but I certainly don’t want to do anything to speed up that process. And although every time I go to the doctor I get an “all is healthy with your weight and cholesterol and whatever else” report, I still know that eating a cucumber is better than eating a cookie. And yet I almost always go for the cookie.

But, one of my resolutions for this year is to change that. I did *almost* great on the 3-day detox diet. I just received this cookbook in the mail that I plan to use a lot. And I think that if I could make a healthy goal 6 days a week, well, then that will make all the chocolate eclair cake and buffalo chicken wings with blue cheese taste even better on Day 7.

Now you tell me – what is one thing you hate about yourself?