What do you get for the person that has everything?

When I was a child, going to visit my grandmother, who we all call Mia, I would ask her what we were going to eat for dinner.

“Food,” she would always reply, in a tone that clearly conveyed “Get the hell outta my kitchen” or “Whatever I serve, you will eat.”

Mia has never been much of a cook, and the running joke around the house (funny because it’s true) is that she will freeze everything. And by everything, I mean everything – Milk. Bread. Orange juice. Arby’s roast beef sandwiches (seriously). Everything. When she breaks out the Christmas cookies each holiday we laugh and say, “Are these the same ones from last year?” And we mean that literally – the same ones.

Mia is also very satisfied regarding what she has or what she needs. Which makes her impossible to shop for. But at 91(edit: she’s 93 – thanks Kev for the reminder!) years old, I suppose she can be like that if she wants to! The things you think she would love – she’s received two Snuggies as gifts (not by me!) – she doesn’t. One year we bought her apple cider and mulling spices, thinking something consumable would be good – and she tried to return it to Williams-Sonoma and complained when they wanted to only give her $6 or something since it was after the holiday. I got her a SouthPark gift certificate once, because she and I like to go shopping together, and that was great. So I got her another one last year and realized that she stresses more about when to use it then the actual enjoyment of using it.

Mom and Dad and Jeff and I were driving down the road at the Outer Banks on Thanksgiving, and Dad noticed this sign:

Bob's Grill

He read it out loud and I said, “That belongs at Mia’s house!” And so, an idea was formed. We went back a couple of days later, and Jeff took the above picture. I spent some time with it in Photoshop, and this is what it looks like now:

Mia's grill

I desaturated the photo, got rid of the power lines and the Bob’s, added Mia’s, and then put a grain on the photo so it will appear more film-like and older (trying to match the dated font on the sign). Got a frame for it – and hopefully, a Christmas gift she’ll actually like. We will see!

An aside: We did eat breakfast at Bob’s Grill. And they didn’t stop their slogan with the sign. I’ll leave you to ponder how the meaning of words can change so drastically, depending on the medium:

Eat and Get the Hell out on undies