‘People think I’m a player. Do you know what that is?’

Adventures of couch-shopping and entertainment-center shopping in Charlotte with Colleen …

Quotes heard from lovely salespeople themselves:

– “The stain guard protects against wine, chocolate and bodily fluids.”

– “You want a chaise on one end, 3 cushions, less than 90 inches? You will not find that anywhere.” (But we just found it at the last store!)

– “Of course we have unique entertainment centers. Anything you want! You name it! … “No, we don’t have red. Why would we have red? This is a furniture store.” (For the record, we found red entertainment centers here and here, and we didn’t even have to go to IKEA to do so.)

-“Bathrooms are for paying customers only.” (Colleen, buy a couch; I gotta pee!) For the record, this guy was joking and was, hands-down, my favorite salesperson of the day.

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This not from a salesperson, but from a crazy old guy hanging around one of the stores:

– “I am not hitting on you, but some people do think I’m a player. Do you know what a player is?” (for the record, Colleen was the lucky girl he was talking to!)

– “13 years ago I had an affair with a married woman. We did not have sex, but we did everything but.”

– “I am 75 years old and I have twin 16-year-old sons.”

(ok, did not want to picture 75-year-old player doing “everything but” with someone …)

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And who says Charlotte has nothing to do? Even furniture shopping can be adventurous!