Free car for sex? Why not?

If you haven’t known me for longer than a decade, you may  not know that I spent several years in high school and college working for car dealerships. I was a receptionist, among other things (file clerk, errand runner, customer service representative, DMV goer, service cashier, lunch getter, etc.)

Let me tell you – working with car salespeople is quite the experience.

You know how there’s a stereotype of sleazy car salesmen? Oh yeah. Not all of them, of course, but that stereotype does exist for a reason.

However – I loved every minute of that job. It certainly gave me memories that will stick with me for life.

I wrote about working there once in a poem. I didn’t have to reach far for material –

Per the poem:

= Yes, Alex the salesperson really did promise a woman a free car in exchange for sex. The kicker? She took him up on it, then called his boss to complain when she actually did not receive a free car.

= And James the cleaning guy really did steal a Dodge Stealth for 15 minutes. When he brought it back, he really did say a tarantula bit him and he could not remember anything that happened.

= And Joe the other cleaning guy really was the only person who believed him. Speaking of Joe, he used to get into fights with his wife and she would beat him up. So he would call the cops. And they would arrest him. And he would call the dealership to come bail him out.

This stuff didn’t even make the poem:

= There was the salesperson who got fired for sleeping in the bathroom. Literally – bathroom lights out, he’s in the stall, pants around his ankles, snoring. And there was another salesperson who got fired for sleeping in a car in the showroom. No one could find her and when they finally did they turned on the car alarm to wake her up.

= I’ll call my own self out on the time I was driving a demo F-150 (a demo is a vehicle for sale but the new car manager was driving it until it was sold), and I wrecked it into another SUV in the parking lot trying to squeeze it in a tiny space. I waited two days before I told on myself. For the record, I didn’t get in trouble.

= There was also the time a bunch of us got drunk at the dealership and rode around the parking lot in a golf cart, which led to me puking my guts out. It’s why I don’t drink Southern Comfort anymore. (For the record I probably wouldn’t drink it anymore anyway – that stuff is gross!)

= Speaking of drinking on the job, I remember times when the sales floor was slow, drinking in the accounting offices with several others who worked there, who will remain nameless … Was so much fun for this 19-year-old …

= One time I was asked to repo a car with the sales manager. It sounded like fun to me! Especially since he was providing beer and I wasn’t 21. So we drove out to the ghetto part of town and the guy I guess saw us coming and was sitting on his front porch. By the time we turned around at the end of the street and got back to his house, he was sitting in the car staring at us with “I dare you” eyes. We drove off. I’ll never agree to repo a car again.

All of this is in addition to the typical workplace drama one gets, especially when there are college students working there and car salesmen that are similar in age to said college students …

Ah, good times. What crazy job stories do you have?

*For the record, I worked for one company but floated at a few different dealerships during my time there. To protect everyone, I won’t state which dealerships they were, though some of you know. Some of you worked there with me!