No sex. No chasing the dog. No future talk.

So today is the big day: Today is the day I bundle up in the warmest, lightest-weight clothes I have and go sleep in the woods. In the winter. Like a crazy person or a hobo although I am neither (the crazy person part is arguable.)

Breanna tries on her Adventuredog pack from REI.
Breanna tries on her Adventuredog pack from REI.

My fellow crazy persons in crime turned out to be as follows: Jeff, Kevin, and Chris. We could not convince or sucker anyone else into going. Oh, and I can’t forget Breanna and Althea the dogs, but they don’t get much of a choice.

According to Elwood, who is a horror movie expert, this group is a good thing (for me, anyway). He gives the following advice:

= One girl always survives the scary movies in the woods. Since I am the only girl, I will definitely make it.
= I should avoid abandoned structures (there are no structures at all where we’re going, so not a problem), avoid talk of the future, and avoid sex if I don’t want to get chased by a crazy man with a chainsaw.
= It’s good no B-list celebrities are going with us because they would certainly die.

Heather adds:

= “Don’t go off by yourself and if the dog freaks out, DON’T go investigate it!”

Jeff is a former Marine and Kevin is an avid camper, and Chris does not seem to be nearly as worried about this cold thing as I am. But when Jeff sent out this morning’s forecast earlier, I shivered just reading it:

Current conditions at MITC as of Friday, February 20th, 2009 @ 6:02 AM EST (4 hrs ago)
Temperature:1.2 °F (-17.1 °C)
Dew point:calculated at -3.2 °F (-19.6 °C)       Relative humidity: 81%
Wind:West (285°) at 42 mph with gusts of 49 mph
Pressure:796.8 mb (23.53 inHg) station pressure

What’s this 1 degree mess? I told the boys I’m defaulting to them about whether we go, but they better be prepared to hear “I’m so cold” about 500 times this weekend if we indeed go through with it!

Only one of my dogs is going because the other one might be a handful on any icy trails. But with their water freezing over in Charlotte, I’m not sure what we’ll do with him since the petsitter would only check on him once a day and that’s not enough to make sure he has water he can drink. And that’s in Charlotte.

Chris assures me he’s bringing a blanket (a blanket which I’ve slept under and woken up sweating; warm doesn’t even begin to describe it), and Jeff says we’ll have the petsitter come twice a day. Chris bought some coffee for the occasion and I have my new filter that works in a Nalgene bottle. We’ll have lots of fire and Breanna will sleep with me in the 0 degree sleeping bag.

Although if they ask me again, I might suggest setting up the tent in the living room … too bad we have a gas fireplace.  I guess that would be difficult to roast marshmallows in, huh?

Meantime, I’ll keep repeating Elwood and Heather’s advice: No sex. No abandoned structures. No future talk. No chasing the dog. Check.