What makes someone fall in love with one person over another?

So I saw a preview for a 20/20 episode about “The Science of Love” and I knew I had to watch it. Scientists have figured out, chemically, what happens to your brain when you fall in love. They’ve determined, based on personality type, who we fall in love with and why. Pretty interesting! The TV show mentioned an online quiz, which of course I had to check out! I did have to sign up for a username/password, so that part was slightly annoying, but I think it was worth it.

Turns out I am a negotiator/explorer, and I am attracted to director/explorers.

I found this quiz very accurate, so I want you to take it! Tell me who you are – and how accurate do you find it? (Come on, even if you’re with someone – this quiz is for non-single people too …)

                                            Melissa…, you are a
NEGOTIATOR/explorer
About Your Personality Type
You see the big picture. You easily take the broad, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy ideas.

You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people’s faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you often intuitively understand what people want and need.

You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you are inclined to make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend and colleague. And you are idealistic and altruistic; you like to work to improve the world.

And you have an adventurous side; you enjoy new ideas and novel experiences and you want to share these with an enthusiastic partner. But you are particularly fond of people who are direct, decisive, focused and tough-minded, people who complement your more flexible, agreeable and affable style.

Negotiator primary traits
  • Sees the big picture
  • Imaginative
  • Intuitive
  • Verbal skills
  • Empathetic
  • Trusting
  • Introspective
Explorer secondary traits
  • Novelty seeking
  • Impulsive and spontaneous
  • Curious
  • Creative
  • Flexible
  • Open-minded
  • Energetic
In Love and Relationships
As a Negotiator, you seek a spiritual, life long connection to a “true love”. But you don’t want someone who is emotionally dependent. You admire people who need a good deal of autonomy. Marriage is important to you; but the social pledge of matrimony is far less sacred than the personal commitment you privately make to your beloved. You avoid conflict and strive for harmony in your primary relationship. So you express your love regularly-with hugs, thoughtful presents, romantic weekends or by creating other special times together. And you want a mate who is daring, playful and adventurous, yet one who will balance you-someone who is calm, decisive, strong-willed, focused and supportive of your enthusiastic, caring and imaginative spirit.
Relating to others
You dislike conflict. You seek “win-win” solutions. You are good at sharing power and ideas. And you are a master at the art of intimacy-building deep and exciting relationships with others. Nevertheless, you often enjoy solitude or intense interactions with just one individual or a few close friends. And you particularly enjoy people who like to play with abstract theories and ideas, provide insights, search for symbolic meanings in life and relationships and have a broad interest in the world.
Things to be aware of
  • Because you can see so many angles to an issue or decision, you can be indecisive.
  • Your need to please can turn to placating and your trusting nature can make you gullible.
  • When you feel betrayed you can be unforgiving and hold a grudge too long.
Spark Factor
You tend to naturally gravitate to DIRECTOR/explorers.
Words Negotiators use (unconsciously) to describe themselves
Negotiator
empathetic/empathy
read/reader
learning/learn
Passion/passionate
sensitive
kind/kindness
sweet
random
heart
real
Words Explorers use (unconsciously) to describe themselves
Explorer
fun
energy
adventure
new
active
passion
outgoing
traveling
spontaneity/spontaneous