I lead a double life. I am secretly a superhero.

It all started with a ring. A birthday gift from Erin, who sent me a very appropriate piece of jewelry to help me celebrate my 30th birthday: a ring, made from an M key on a typewriter. The perfect gift for a writer.

And me, deeming myself clever, had a conversation with my clever partner in crime, Susan, about how funny it would be to call Erin and say, “Thanks for the ring, but why a W?”

So then Susan, who I may have already mentioned is my clever partner in crime, decided that the W needed to mean something. And that something would be WowGirl. When I wore the ring as an M, I was Melissa. And when I wore it as a W, I was WowGirl. And that, my friends, is how I became a superhero.

But oh, it didn’t stop there. WowGirl needed a super hot, sexy, and kick-ass look, and powers, and other superhero friends.

Step 1: The Look

In comes Chris, who draws WowGirl as he sees her – with stilettos and a belt that looks like the typewriter ring and a cape. He makes her super hot, sexy, and kick-ass, everything that a superhero should be. Except she’s missing a face. But he doesn’t like to draw faces. So that’s that.

Step 2: The Powers

WowGirl has the ability to stomp the eyes of bad guys with her stiletto. These powers are loosely defined, probably due to too many beers and not enough planning. Jeff does give her a theme song, though, something every superhero should have.

Step 3: The Superhero Friends

(As far as time lines go, this probably should be Step 1. But I digress.) I give you Zonic Sooooosie, who has X-ray vision and 5 Os, and who plays Susan in real life. 

Then there’s Sir H.C., whose name spelled backward is Chris and whose claim to fame is his, um, H.C. 

There’s Normous Knob, who drinks Knob whiskey and plays Ronnie during the day, and whose claim to fame is his, um, Knob.

And there’s Slab, which is what comes out if you try to type Alan on a Blackberry Pearl with auto correct type, and whose claim to fame is his, um, Slab.

Hmm, I’m seeing a pattern here … No wonder Zonic has 5 … um, never mind.

So, this story would probably be way better if we didn’t do most of the planning when we were drinking. But Sir H.C. and WowGirl did make Zonic a poster for her 30th birthday, which I share with you here:

zonic-poster

And for all you comic book fans that are potentially feeling a little bit pained right now, help us define WowGirl! If for no other reason, because she has the potential to be a hot, sexy, and kick-ass Halloween costume next year … and having a hot, sexy, and kiss-ass Halloween costume is really what it’s all about.