Day One without you

Even Italian coffee doesn’t warm this heart
today because I drink it alone

He is in the next room
but he is not you

He is a tea-drinker, may not be a perfect fit
but I refuse to let myself think of coffee mugs
yours and mine, together on shelf in our new home
or the smell of fresh roast on Sunday morning

even cappucinos at breakfast in Florence
are far from this battered and broken mind

He carried me away from you and all your hurt
took me to this – better – life without your lies
who cares if he won’t drink this sin with me?

I keep my phone off so my heart won’t leap
at every call that isn’t you
don’t check email
don’t want to know
if you haven’t written
ok, only check once (twice)

and in silence I don’t think
because thinking is dangerous now

instead I write lists of things to do
to keep my mind from you

Day One:
– drink coffee
– don’t think