When I was a sophomore in high school I had it all. Great friends that I had grown up in the town I’d lived in since I was 3, a great social life that included hanging out with BFF Amy literally every day, and great times in the neighborhood with more friends and family. Then we moved. To Beaufort, where I knew NO ONE. I hated it, hated it, hated it.
Then I loved it. New friends, new things to do. I felt closer to my family than ever before – it was my first lesson that you’ve got family no matter what. Then we moved back. And I hated that.
I wasn’t sure where I stood with anyone anymore. I hated it. I hated it for all of one day – the first day of school – before things were fine again.
My exboyfriend John told me once during one of our many breakups, “You just hate change.” He was the first of a few exboyfriends that would tell me that. I always hated breakups because I hated the thought of this person who had been so special to me and who I spent so much time with, sharing so many dreams with – would just be … gone. Out of my life. Even if I was the one breaking up. Sometimes, especially then. Probably why I am friends with many of my exes.
I decided to quit my first job out of college about 4 years into it. I worked there 7 years, so it took me almost half of my career there to officially decide when to leave. I loved the work, loved the people, but hated the schedule and hated the bullshit. So I wanted to quit – it only took me 3 years to actually do it.
This past summer as we partied with the core group of friends that all hung out together, I couldn’t help but fearing the change. We all knew it was coming – Ronnie would leave for California, Susan would get a teaching job and Alan would get a roommate. Chris would move from 1.5 hours away to 3.5 hours away, and George would get less fat. There would be no more beer pong on Friday nights or smoking on the island during a good card game.
I would love to end this post with something happy. Something about how, despite my resistance to change, it has always led to something fabulous. And that is, of course, usually the case. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to go through at the time.
“When God closes a door he opens a window?” Well, if that’s true, He’s still closing a door. … How does everyone else deal with change? Embrace it or fear it? Love it or resist it?